In a thoughtful piece on Above the Law, an author discusses her experience navigating being an attorney and a mother of four. The author, a solo practitioner, explains the demands of balancing her professional and familial duties, as well as society’s expectations.
The article reflects on the author’s journey as a legal professional and the societal expectations she has had to negotiate along this path. Through her undergraduate thesis, she’s already studied the pressure on African American women to juggle multiple roles, such as career women, mothers, and community leaders.
The theme of multiple roles continues to resonate with her today as she now balances being a solo attorney, a mother of four youngsters, and the spouse of an Air Force retiree who is pursuing his own professional degree. Here, she ponders on whether the pressure she feels is predominantly external or originates from within her.
Discussing her job as a small business and landlord-tenant attorney, she mentions the immense responsibility and trust that comes with the profession. Yet, like many working parents, she battles with finding the right balance between achieving her professional goals and being present for her family.
One striking example provided by the author is an incident involving her 4-year-old son hurting himself on the eve of an important trial. Stuck between being there for her child while simultaneously fulfilling her professional commitments, she experienced the quintessential battle of wills the modern-day working woman often encounters.
The author extended this example to highlight the concept of ‘mom guilt.’ Despite the importance of self-care, it still feels like just another duty to her already extensive list of obligations. She further expressed her guilt by confessively admitting her love for her job and family, believing, but struggling with the idea, that these affections shouldn’t be mutually exclusive.
The author concludes by refuting any implications that her choice to work is a sign of materialism, stating that while providing for her family is a necessity, finding a career she loves is a choice. She affirms that she’s embracing the multifaceted nature of her life and moving toward her aim: to be both a dedicated lawyer and a loving mother, without feeling the need to apologize for either.